Yeah, I have constellations on my forehead.
Hey. I am going to be a little bit self-critical today by analyzing my life goal. Yeah you got that right, not goals, not plural, but goal, as in one goal.
I am a pretty simple homo sapien and the only thing that I want out of this life is happiness hence, my goal. I want to be happy. I want to live happily and I want to die in a happy state. When I am dead, I want people to be happy for my passing and celebrate it with smiles and hugs.
The thing is, anyone can say that their goal is to be happy. It is too generic, too subjective, too child-like and too bullshit-ty?
Let's begin with the definition of happiness. Ancient historians define happiness as luck or good fortune which is something completely out of grasp from an individual whereas present Americans researchers define happiness as something that one can pursue to increase one's pleasantries in life. Mathematicians on the other hand modeled formulas to calculate happiness and based on findings, it does seem to reflect the result. So, who is to say which one is true?
Now, let's go into the components that translate into happiness generally; money, power, prestige, love, security, choices, freedom and etc. So, which one of these many components contributes to my own definition of happiness? I don't know.
However, in the end I don't give a rat's ass about researches, data and analysis. As an individual, I know exactly what I am pursuing. Yes, it is an abstract destination where I can never tell the end of it unlike some goals that are more concrete where you aim to have at least RM 100, 000 in you bank account by the age of 23. I don't have that kind of goals and truth to be told, I don't think I want to.
Again, I am pretty simple creature, if I could digest the energy from the sun without ever having to eat, I would do it. After all of the readings that I had read, my goal remains the same, to be happy. I know it is impossible and maybe borderline psychopathic to be happy 24/7 in 365 days. I know where the line is.
Happiness for me is when I could at least make someone's day better just by making them laugh, it is by listening to what my friends have to say about their lives and share their sadness or happiness. Happiness is when I know that however fucked up I am, my parents will always have my back and my siblings will always keep my secrets from my parents safe within them. Happiness is when I know that the friends that I love, love me back dearly and no matter how distant I am, they will always pick up the phone to contact me first and happiness for me is when my boyfriend knows that I am sick just before I even say hello on the phone.
These, for me, are what happiness actually is. Not what some historians or philosophers said. Not what researches data are translated into and most certainly not formulas that mathematicians meticulously came up with. Maybe they are true but these people tried to narrow down the definition of happiness when happiness in reality is an infinite sensation. A person could be just as happy from gaining a million Ringgit tender as a person who saw snow for the first time. There are no definite terms for happiness thus, there are no definitions at all.
Be happy, people. Don't let society question your definition of happiness. You know what makes you happy so, what the fuck are you waiting for? Make sure you feel happy for at least twice a day.
I spent my high school years resenting myself and now, nobody loves me more that I do. And I am happy. I hope I forever will be.
l8r,
Jaz
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