What is it with failing that scares the shit out of all of us? Isn't it a commonly known fact that as a being, we cannot separate ourselves from failures. But here we are, aggressively opposing this fact. I don't get the stigma. I used to get it but now, after a while, I don't get it anymore.
I've been failing myself and those around me for years now. Not consistently or frequently but in intervals there were failures. And of course, I am not proud of those failures but I learnt from them. And is that not the whole point of life? Learning? I mean, you can get things right for the first time throughout your entire life but if you look at it from a line graph perspective, it will look rather flat won't it? Life is all about that ups and downs that we have. If we have it good all the time, we will lose sight on what "good" actually is since "good" will just be another form of normality in our lives.
Failures will break you. It will tear you apart and eat you alive. But here is what I learnt from all of those failures that I had to face, there is no breaking me down, there is no tearing me apart and there is eating me alive. I did not realize how strong I was until I was given these unfortunate events to deal with. I did not realize how determined I was to get better. I did not realize how fucking confident I could be when I need to.
Yeah sure, failures will definitely 100% break the fucking crap out of you but they will make you. Failures are the only thing that will make you.
So you failed. Be sorry for yourself for a little while. Cry, scream, punch the fucking wall when it never did anything wrong to you in the first place but then after a while, stop. You know you can get up from this. Even if you think you can't, especially when you think you can't, you can.
I may face another failure on one of my paper. Scared as fuck. But I did my best so if failed, I fail. I just have to re-take it. Although, I hope I don't. A C- would be more than enough for me.
l8r,
Jaz.
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