I Call Bullshit: Romanticism

Romanticism ruins love in so many ways. We expect love to constantly be constant despite all the 

changes an individual goes through in a relationship. We expect no matter how different we are now 

than who we were when we fell in love, we expect the feeling of love to remain.

Romanticism ruins love in so many ways. We are expected to love a person as a whole, accept every crevice of flaw that our significant other has even though we know that we cannot be okay with the 

fact that our significant other never shuts the drawer until it’s end. Even though we know that we will never be okay if our significant other throws their towel on the floor right after shower. We should be allowed to express our not-okay-ness because we can adapt, our partners could realize that these habits make us uncomfortable and try to adapt. But romanticism dictates that if we love someone, we love them. Despite the drawers and 

the towels.

Romanticism ruins love in so many ways. We expect for our significant to understand us no even 
though we do not even have a god damn fucking idea about ourselves. We bear the burden of getting 
to

 know ourselves to our significant other. How dare we. How fucking dare we let that burden fall onto someone we claim to love?

Romanticism ruins love in so many ways. We expect ourselves to love to no end. Falling out of love 

is not a question, is not a thing and is not something has any correlation to love whatsoever. Hence, 

we never acknowledge the foreign feeling that is trying to get out of our system, to let us know that 

we do not love this significant other anymore. We do not want to be with this significant other 

anymore. This significant other is no longer significant, this person is just other person. Romanticism led us to believe that falling out of love is not reason to leave our that person. So we cheat, we lie, we curse, we blame and we just let ourselves to be what we never want to be, unkind. Because being 

unkind is a far kinder way to leave someone than admitting that we fall out of love.

I know love. I have felt love. I have loved love. And I have endured love. 

But I fell out of it. 

Do not tell me that I do know love. Don’t you dare tell me that I do not know love for falling out of

 love is the greatest knowledge one can gain from loving.

l8r,
Jazmin

ICB: Trends

Welcome yet to another rendition of something I call, "I Call Bullshit" where I point to a stuff and literally call it bullshit. With reasons of course. 

So, what is it about trends that that tickles my ribs? In a gist, it is becoming too much. 

The present trend that is engulfing the world and consumerists shops are the 70s trends. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy fashion despite of it's era but we are taking the 70s trend by verbatim. Word by word. It is great that we are trying to create a culture of acceptance in fashion despite of its oddity but when everyone is trying to recreate, replicate I must say, the 70s trends, item by item, it kind sets me off. I don't mind if it is just one person who's  individuality explains in the 70s trend but everyone is dressing like my mom when she was a teenager. With their bell-sleeves, bell-bottoms, suede jackets and pants, with this and that. It's too much.

We lost our individuality while trying to keep up with the trend. That is the essential problem that I would like to call bullshit on. Don't we have any respect for our individuality that we spend our entire allowance on on trying to look like every other person who came out of the shop as we did? Damn. It infuriates me. It is like I am seeing a copy of a copy of a copy every time I turn my head. It infuriates me because I know we can do better when it comes to representing ourselves as a person. A person who is not the next person.  

There is no right and wrong in fashion but there is something that we've seem to neglect and that is our originality. We need more of that. I can't look at another store without seeing something related to the 70s. It. Is. Too. Much.

But I do love patterned pants. Haha.

l8r,

Jaz.

I call bullshit: Failures

What is it with failing that scares the shit out of all of us? Isn't it a commonly known fact that as a being, we cannot separate ourselves from failures. But here we are, aggressively opposing this fact. I don't get the stigma. I used to get it but now, after a while, I don't get it anymore.

I've been failing myself and those around me for years now. Not consistently or frequently but in intervals there were failures. And of course, I am not proud of those failures but I learnt from them. And is that not the whole point of life? Learning? I mean, you can get things right for the first time throughout your entire life but if you look at it from a line graph perspective, it will look rather flat won't it? Life is all about that ups and downs that we have. If we have it good all the time, we will lose sight on what "good" actually is since "good" will just be another form of normality in our lives. 

Failures will break you. It will tear you apart and eat you alive. But here is what I learnt from all of those failures that I had to face, there is no breaking me down, there is no tearing me apart and there is eating me alive. I did not realize how strong I was until I was given these unfortunate events to deal with. I did not realize how determined I was to get better. I did not realize how fucking confident I could be when I need to.

Yeah sure, failures will definitely 100% break the fucking crap out of you but they will make you. Failures are the only thing that will make you.

So you failed. Be sorry for yourself for a little while. Cry, scream, punch the fucking wall when it never did anything wrong to you in the first place but then after a while, stop. You know you can get up from this. Even if you think you can't, especially when you think you can't, you can.

I may face another failure on one of my paper. Scared as fuck. But I did my best so if failed, I fail. I just have to re-take it. Although, I hope I don't. A C- would be more than enough for me.

l8r,

Jaz.

I call bullshit: My Life Goal, Happiness

Yeah, I have constellations on my forehead.

Hey. I am going to be a little bit self-critical today by analyzing my life goal. Yeah you got that right, not goals, not plural, but goal, as in one goal.

I am a pretty simple homo sapien and the only thing that I want out of this life is happiness hence, my goal. I want to be happy. I want to live happily and I want to die in a happy state. When I am dead, I want people to be happy for my passing and celebrate it with smiles and hugs.

The thing is, anyone can say that their goal is to be happy. It is too generic, too subjective, too child-like and too bullshit-ty? 

Let's begin with the definition of happiness. Ancient historians define happiness as luck or good fortune which is something completely out of grasp from an individual whereas present Americans researchers define happiness as something that one can pursue to increase one's pleasantries in life.  Mathematicians on the other hand modeled formulas to calculate happiness and based on findings, it does seem to reflect the result. So, who is to say which one is true?

Now, let's go into the components that translate into happiness generally; money, power, prestige, love, security, choices, freedom and etc. So, which one of these many components contributes to my own definition of happiness? I don't know.

However, in the end I don't give a rat's ass about researches, data and analysis. As an individual, I know exactly what I am pursuing. Yes, it is an abstract destination where I can never tell the end of it unlike some goals that are more concrete where you aim to have at least RM 100, 000 in you bank account by the age of 23. I don't have that kind of goals and truth to be told, I don't think I want to.

Again, I am pretty simple creature, if I could digest the energy from the sun without ever having to eat, I would do it. After all of the readings that I had read, my goal remains the same, to be happy. I know it is impossible and maybe borderline psychopathic to be happy 24/7 in 365 days. I know where the line is. 

Happiness for me is when I could at least make someone's day better just by making them laugh, it is by listening to what my friends have to say about their lives and share their sadness or happiness. Happiness is when I know that however fucked up I am, my parents will always have my back and my siblings will always keep my secrets from my parents safe within them. Happiness is when I know that the friends that I love, love me back dearly and no matter how distant I am, they will always pick up the phone to contact me first and happiness for me is when my boyfriend knows that I am sick just before I even say hello on the phone.

These, for me, are what happiness actually is. Not what some historians or philosophers said. Not what researches data are translated into and most certainly not formulas that mathematicians meticulously came up with. Maybe they are true but these people tried to narrow down the definition of happiness when happiness in reality is an infinite sensation. A person could be just as happy from gaining a million Ringgit tender as a person who saw snow for the first time. There are no definite terms for happiness thus, there are no definitions at all.

Be happy, people. Don't let society question your definition of happiness. You know what makes you happy so, what the fuck are you waiting for? Make sure you feel happy for at least twice a day.

I spent my high school years resenting myself and now, nobody loves me more that I do. And I am happy. I hope I forever will be.

l8r,

Jaz

I call bullshit: Love at first sight (part 2: others' perspectives)

Let's get on with it shall we?

So, this week, I've been pondering upon the translation of "love at first sight" from various perspectives. And to my surprise, it was 50/50. I did not realize that there are so many believers in this world and I am glad that they are. Let's begin with my boyfriend.

He is a pro "love at first sight" and I tried making it a case to him. I tried to have him look at it from my point of view which he did and he agreed with some of my points but the there was no totality in his agreement because the fundamental reason behind him being pro "love at first sight" is he had felt it before. So it is kind of a religious epiphany whereby nobody could take that away from you. At first, honestly, I wanted to but then realization came to mind, "Jaz, fucking respect other people you cunt." and so I did. Marshmallow, I'm glad that you are a believer.

Now, let's look at the other end of the spectrum by discussing about what my friend, Kit May, thinks about this matter. Yeah, she's not into it. Very much not into it because by saying that you fall in love with someone from the first sight highlights the notion of your love based on outward appearances whereas "love" is the complete opposite thing. It takes more than just the way we look to make someone falls in love with us, no matter how fab we look. Love, from Kit May's perspective encompasses so much more such as personality, character, emotion, manner and all in in all, the entire being of that person. Another friend of mine, Amanda's point of view falls under Kit May's as well so let's just push 'em together.

Let's come back to pro "love at first sight" now. A lecturer of mine is the fucking sweetest person on Earth and yes, he's a believer. The main reason of his beliefs is because of reincarnation when you had already fallen in love with the person from the previous life and meeting that person again in the current life just gives you the feels. Which I find beautiful. Reincarnation in general is a beautiful process, not that I believe in it but it is just a very beautiful beliefs on how you could fall in love all over again with the same person again and again and again 'til the end of time. Death is not a worry because heck, we'll find each other again. It is nice to have that kind of security don't you think?

And lastly, some random answers from my friends who believes in it just for the sake of believing it to ensure her romantic side is alive. On the other hand, there was another friend who was kind of freaked out by it because based on his words, "that chick could be a total psycho". 

You know what, at the end of the day, it does not matter if you are pro or against "love at first sight". Your thoughts and perspectives on it builds up to who you really are and I know that I will still find you awesome as fuck if you don't even know the existence of "love at first sight."

Hooray individuality and fuck yeah. I got nothing.

l8r,

Jaz

I call bullshit: Love at first sight (part 1: my perspective)

I like to write things where I am in a neutral state. I feel like if I ever favor one side more than the other then, the things that I will be writing will not be worth of your time. But, since I feel kind of strongly about this topic, I am going to go ahead anyways. I need to let my opinions be known to the world because why the fucking hell not, yeah? Don't worry though, I am still going to talk about it from another perspective.

So, ladies, gentleman and unidentified gender, welcome to another rendition of "I call bullshit". Let's take a second and think about the first time you felt as if you caught "love at first sight". If you ever had that feeling, great! But personally, I never had a chance to come across that feeling or sensation or whatever it is and for the sake of my boyfriend, I hope that I never will.

Let's start by talking about how I feel about this thing. Well, in short I always thought that "love at first sight" is one of the most polite way of saying, "damn, dat gurl is so hawt I wanna fill 'er up." Which I know is disgusting but I say that to myself all the time. Sorry. 

I think "love at first sight" was made famous by writers because as a hardcore reader and a self-proclaimed writer, I think I have the audacity to say that writers tend to over-romanticize mundane shits. For example if you look at the moon tonight you might say to yourself, "the moon looks real pretty tonight." as opposed to a typical romance-novel writer who would probably say that "the moon reminds of the opalescent eyes of my lover." and we buy this shit. We read about it, cry about it, connected to it and adapted that idea into our real-life. It is amazing the amount of things the media can do to change us.

Love is complex, dirty, messy and beautiful all at once and I don't think you can acquire all of that element from just a glance. What you saw was just the physical attributes of a stranger that kind of fits to your idea of an ideal mate. I don't think it's love. It is just a physical attraction which leans more towards your preferences. I think that is why the feeling sort of mutilates from your ordinary physical attraction thus, labeling it as "love at first sight". There is no love in that equation. 

So, that is my thoughts on "love at first sight". 

However, like I said earlier, I the last thing I want to be is one sided. But this post is already too long so, click this link here to read the next part.

l8r,
Jaz.

I call bullshit: Instagram

Spoiler Alert: this post is gonna be nasty.

Pictures are lies. They are what you want yourself to see. Not what it really is. Yes, a pictures speaks a thousand words but if one picture is a lie, those thousand words it translate into is also a lie. 

For example, look at the picture above, that is a picture of my back. If you don't know how I look, you would perceive that this back belongs to someone with a certain kind of face that you would think suit that kind of body when in reality, it belongs to the little old me. Your mind wants to believe something else when in reality, it never is what your mind wants it to be.

Which brings me to my topic for today, I call bullshit on Instagram. I understand that Instagram is an outlet whereby you posts pictures and memories for your keepsake however, I've been encountering with a phenomenon which I like to call as the "fucking stupid obsession".

It almost always begins with stalking which then leads to admiration. Don't get me wrong, I stalk all the time and I too, admire countless of people on Instagram. Which in my opinion is a great thing. Admiration leads to a lot of positive things such as inspiration, motivation and whatever it is you wish. But after a while, those admiration has the possibility to turn into obsession where the stalker starts claiming that so-and-so's life is so perfect and the stalker wishes *her life to be as perfect as those pictures she double taps on her Instagram feed.

*I am using her because I prefer "her" as a pronoun as opposed to "him". I am not claiming that only girls do this sort of thing. Boys are just as bad.

I have one thing to say to these stalkers with fucking stupid obsession, those pictures you see and claim as the "perfect life" on your Instagram feeds are not real. Yes, they are not real. Well, maybe they are but those are the pictures or moments in a person's life that they want to show. And those pictures are not even a fraction of their lives. Nobody wants to post a picture of themselves throwing a dirty dish at their significant other with the caption, "I am living with a fucking pig. LOL #mysignificanotherisafuckingcunt" right? What you are dreaming of does not exist and it will never exist.

So, my advice to those of you who are currently succumbed by the idea of someone that you follow on Instagram is living the "perfect life", please focus on your own life instead. You are the main character of your life hence, make it so. Make your life what you want it to be, not copy someone else's nonexistent lives.

Instagram is a great distraction in our humdrum everyday lives but it is not meant to be an obsession. I feel sorry for those who are dreaming for the perfect life for the perfect life never even thought of you.

l8r.

Jaz.