Let's just begin again.

Press the picture to download the PDF.

It will bring you to a Google PDF and from there, just click the icon that indicates "download".

I hope you'll enjoy it.

l8r, 

Jaz.

Jaz | Saying : #1 e-Magazine

First e-magazine by yours truly. Coming out on 1st of July 2016.

Download it.

It's going to be legend,

wait for it,

dairy.

(actually, don't take my word for it. create your own opinion on it.)

l8r,

Jaz

#1 Ali on Osaka

(Osaka is a story I have been writing for two years. I don't remember how it all started and I also do not any idea on how to end it either. Maybe I just do not want it to end. So Osaka remains as snippets of never-ending stories. Btw, I wrote each story as a scene with a soundtrack. Hence every story will be accompanied with a soundtrack.)

Ali on Osaka

There was a myth saying that humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Zeus, a Greek god, who was fearful of their power, decided to split these humans into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their whole lives to search for their other halves. I do not believe in this ancient Greek mythology of course, but I wanted to, I still want to. Somehow, I can’t bring myself to.

Osaka is a being that I cannot separate myself from. I will always gravitate towards her, come night or day, my choosing would be her. I would throw myself off of a cliff if she says the word. I wanted to believe that my condemnation from Zeus was over when I found her, I wanted to believe that she is the other half of whom Zeus had me halved from. Oh, there was nothing more that I wanted to believe more than that. But she is Osaka, she is all four arms, four legs and head with two faces all by herself. And my existence when I am with her, I would not call it as existence. Oblivion suits best.

Love stories almost always begin with the moment of the eyes of two lovers caught a glimpse of one another's’ remarkable beauty. In this case, let me begin mine with the glimpse that I caught of Osaka the moment I left her. The moment I last saw her. She was still beautiful, I doubt that I will find another beauty such as hers, so beautiful that it bled my soul just to turn my head away from her and her eyes. Osaka’s eyes were the loveliest amongst all other pairs of eyes I had ever set my eyes on. Her eyes were my universe. I looked into those eyes and I found home so far away from home but that day, when I stepped away from her, those eyes were empty as a black hole. Black and the universe that had once belonged to those eyes ceased from existence. She stared at me as if I was a stranger on a train. I could not tell if she was heartbroken from my withdrawal from her life because at that moment, she was as stagnant as a statue.

Osaka was the love of my life, the one true love of my life that I know that I will regret for the remaining years of my being for leaving her. But I fear of drowning in the universe of her eyes more than I fear that regret.

I know these all sound rather excessive, unreal and exaggerated but isn't love always is?

l8r,

Jaz

I Call Bullshit: Romanticism

Romanticism ruins love in so many ways. We expect love to constantly be constant despite all the 

changes an individual goes through in a relationship. We expect no matter how different we are now 

than who we were when we fell in love, we expect the feeling of love to remain.

Romanticism ruins love in so many ways. We are expected to love a person as a whole, accept every crevice of flaw that our significant other has even though we know that we cannot be okay with the 

fact that our significant other never shuts the drawer until it’s end. Even though we know that we will never be okay if our significant other throws their towel on the floor right after shower. We should be allowed to express our not-okay-ness because we can adapt, our partners could realize that these habits make us uncomfortable and try to adapt. But romanticism dictates that if we love someone, we love them. Despite the drawers and 

the towels.

Romanticism ruins love in so many ways. We expect for our significant to understand us no even 
though we do not even have a god damn fucking idea about ourselves. We bear the burden of getting 
to

 know ourselves to our significant other. How dare we. How fucking dare we let that burden fall onto someone we claim to love?

Romanticism ruins love in so many ways. We expect ourselves to love to no end. Falling out of love 

is not a question, is not a thing and is not something has any correlation to love whatsoever. Hence, 

we never acknowledge the foreign feeling that is trying to get out of our system, to let us know that 

we do not love this significant other anymore. We do not want to be with this significant other 

anymore. This significant other is no longer significant, this person is just other person. Romanticism led us to believe that falling out of love is not reason to leave our that person. So we cheat, we lie, we curse, we blame and we just let ourselves to be what we never want to be, unkind. Because being 

unkind is a far kinder way to leave someone than admitting that we fall out of love.

I know love. I have felt love. I have loved love. And I have endured love. 

But I fell out of it. 

Do not tell me that I do know love. Don’t you dare tell me that I do not know love for falling out of

 love is the greatest knowledge one can gain from loving.

l8r,
Jazmin

Word Vomit: The Art of Letting Go

Here's a question, is letting go of someone a selfish decision?

Behind every decision I have ever made, at the very foundation of that decision is kindness. So, every time the occasion for decision- making comes up, I will think to myself "what is the kindest way to go about this decision?" 

Some might say that in some events, kindness is not going to be an option but I disagree. Even in the most gruesome decision, kindness exists. It is our job to materialize it.

What I am trying to get at here is recently, I made a life- altering decision to let go of an important, most loved person in my life. It took me a long while to 

get a grip on my decision because I could not idealize the basis of kindness in the decision. How can it be kind if in the end, all I do is break someone's heart? How can it ever be kind if when I leave I 

know that my footsteps seeps pain into that person? But after reassessing the problem I realized that I wanted to be kind to everyone but myself. Why did I deprive myself from my own kindness? 

I want to be happy. And apparently, I deserve to be happy. And so I made a decision to be kind to 

myself. In other word, much blunt word, I made a decision to be selfish. Yes, it was a mean, cold and egoistic decision and I promise you, it was not a decision I made with any ounce of regret.

Loving, especially my act of loving discovered it's limit. Would I have been a much better person if I compromise the love and kindness that I have for myself to make sure that another person in my life is happy while I watch myself alter and deteriorate into a shadow of negativity, preying upon others 

and disseminate the negativity perpetually? Would that have been a far kinder decision?

I don't think so. Sometimes selfish is kind. It may not seem like so. But it is. 

Kindness that society wants us to selflessly provide is onto others. And that is not wrong. That act is indubitably noble. But society forgets to project onto us that being kind to ourselves is a selfless act as well. Be kind people. To anyone, anything, to everyone and everything.

l8r,

Jaz

  

The Bomber Issue

The bombers eh?

Quite a game changer isn't it? Well, I guess it is not much of a revelation, it is more of a comeback. So, quite a comeback eh?

Like any other person who enjoys clothes, I too am attracted by the comeback piece that is bomber jackets. The shape, the silhouette, the zipper, the familiarity of the pass, the attitude, the colors, man, what is there not to love?

Well, I found something that I am not quite keen about. The styling bit of this fantastic bomber jacket.

FUCK IT! JUST FUCK ALL OF IT! Actually, just fuck one of it because evidently, based on observation and research, there's only ONE FUCKING WAY of styling it. And yes, it angers me to no end. Why, you ask? Well, let me explain why. Here we have a well designed statement piece of a jacket, this piece that could extend our creativity with styling experimentation and we decided to only stick with one style. One thing I hate about style is how generic it could be when it becomes a trend. 

How to style a bomber jacket 101:

A bomber, black or army green ( I own an army green bomber).

A skin tight skinny jeans.

A white or black t-shirt.

And of course a pair of white shoes.

There you go, a start up kit for wearing bomber jacket for everyone.

I know this could piss off some of you guys and I hope it will aggravate you because we need to push this boundary, this trend. Sure bomber jacket is "in" right now but hey, there is more than one way of wearing it. Don't be a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy.  We are separated individuals with innate sense of portraying ourselves, take that advantage and just fucking experiment with it. 

Wear bomber with shiny shoes, patch your bomber up, wear weirdly silhouetted pants, change those black or white t-shirts into shirts. Striped, polka dot, abstract print, whatever it is you think fits you. Because I am tired. Dammit I am tired of being flooded by the generic crap.

Do bomber jackets because you want to, not because society rubs it against your face.

l8r,

Jaz.  

Transcending (Radiohead - Nude)

Late to the party? I certainly am.

Nude by Radiohead in one word is transcending. That was the initial and one of the most prominent feeling that I have felt about a song in a very long time. It "literally" transcends me to another world just by the listening to the first few seconds of the intro. This song is utterly magical. That is all I have to say about it.

Plus I am glad that I am late to the party about this song because I know if I had heard it earlier, I won't be able to appreciate it as much as I do now. I guess, I needed a little bit of growing up to do before stumbling upon this song. Some things just need a little bit of age. Like wine. Or cheese.

Anyways, close your eyes, hug yourself and just let yourself be transcended to a parallel dimension.

l8r,

Jaz.

Go Cray Cray

Image from thesartorialist.com

From my observation and if I may, analysis, I kind of know that it is tricky to make your outfits look good in the winter. But mannnn, look at how this gal is going! Winter ain't holding her back. The way she plays with layers and lengths. It is just exquisite. I don't know if the word exquisite would be enough to justify her outfit. All in all, I am just in awe.

Look at the length and silhouette of her pants, the cropped length of her denim jacket layered over an oversized sweater and under a knee-length coat. 

And not to mention the color palette she chose to combine. Grey, navy denim, light denim and black?I mean, c'mon! This. Is. My. Dream. Outfit.

But I live in a country of perpetual summer so.... It may forever be a dream.

l8r,

Jaz.

Wear Yo Outerwear

I completely understand if you want to rebut and say that Malaysia is too bloody hot for wearing an outerwear. I agree. I completely agree with you.

But here me out, most of the time you spend will be indoors anyways, your lecture hall, your office, your mall, your wherever else. So, why not? Plus, choose a lightweight material. You're not going to evaporate into steam if it was ever too hot.

"Day in The Life" - Weston James Palmer

Weston James Palmer in collaboration with Coach Skateboards, Coach collection, awesome soundtrack and great cinematography skills.  What else could you want in a video?

Denim Jacket (Rappers and Booties)

(Out of context intro)

I enjoy rap music when rappers discuss on matters that actually matter such as Chance the Rapper in his sing Cocoa Butter or Childish Gambino in Hold You Down. However, the only consistent pattern of the topic that are in rap music since I first started listening to it in 2012 is booty. Why? What is the correlation between these two separate entities? Am I ignorant to the history of it? If I am, please enlighten me.

(Contextual intro)

But I digress. Let's talk about denim jackets shall we? First of all, how great are they? I treated myself with a black denim jacket earlier this month and I can tell you that there was not a day that I left my denim jacket in the house. Whatever outfit I have on, I'd just throw on my denim jacket on top for an extra pow-wow. It is a great staple in any wardrobe. Trust me. The trick is just to find a wash that accommodates well to your wardrobe and a fit that, well, compliments your figure. Du-uh.

I was on a lookout for a denim jacket for soooooooooo long, I thought I should share with you some tips that would make your journey to the perfect denim jacket easier as compared to mine. I am not an expert, but I am an experienced shopper so, I think my opinion would kind of help. Maybe... Maybe not...

1.

Try on any denim jackets that you can find. 

Here's the thing, you can never imagine how a denim jacket would look like on you unless you put it on you. There are so many washes and cuts, I mean, just put it on. I never thought that I would end up with a black denim jacket but here I am, at bliss with one.

2.

Compare & Contrast

Once you found the kind of wash and cut that you need in your life, be on the lookout for a cheaper one. Denim jackets can be expensive but sometimes, you can get it for less. Compare and contrast the quality and price with other shops. Don't just stop at one shop. Venture out. I don't buy anything made in masses for full price because we both know that it is going to go on sale for waaay fucking cheaper and we will be sad for not waiting.

3.

Buy

Buy the denim jacket that has the optimum balance amongst style, price and quality.

4.

Enjoy it for eternity

It will last you forever. I doubt that it will an item of clothing that will soon be irrelevant in fashion. If it ever happens, I don't think I will be proud of the industry anymore (maybe).

ps: A$AP ROCKY has some sick beats but sickening lyrics. I do enjoy getting high on it though (musically, not drugs wise). Not gunna lie.

l8r,

Jaz.

Word Vomit: Anyone?

I am curious, is there anyone out there who is actually reading my contents? I keep getting views but it all seems so abstract. And personally I think that abstractness is only appealing in literature, not in real life. So, to anyone who is reading this, I just want to thank you and hope you enjoy the nonsense that I put out. I enjoy writing them and I hope you'd find some sort of satisfaction in between my lines of absurd sentences.

You are fucking exquisite. Keep that in mind.

And, of course, thank you again.

l8r,

Jaz.

Outstanding Imperfection: Minor Dyslexia

Let's be real here. The fact that I can't differ between my left hand to my right hand is not solely because of my stupidity. The reason of my incomprehensibility towards left and right is because I have a speckle of dyslexic traits in my DNA (I ain't bullshittin' you, bud). 

Truthfully, I am tired of being made stupid due to my inability to differentiate my hand or directions or anything similar. So, I look at it as a quirky trait of mine. How many times in your life do you stumble upon someone who is asked to turn right but steered the car to the left instead? Not that many I suppose. So, here I am. Let me be a quirky furniture in your unfinished home.

Seriously, it is really hard to hate someone who is naturally dumb when it comes to direction. All you will feel is pity and I'd suck any pity that I can find.

So, to you lovely people out there with outstanding imperfections, just be okay with it. If you can't, find other advice because this is all I have. Hahahaha. But seriously, be okay with it. Wear it like a shield and it is almost fucking impossible for anyone to hurt you. At least that is what Tyrion Lannister said in Game of Thrones (btw, when the fuck will that show be on air again?)

ps: I just got the scarf from @byfqi (Instagram), and I wore it for 3 days straight. I mean, c'mon. That justifies something.

l8r,

Jaz.

Banana

I thought I'd try something new today. Not in terms of clothes but photos. Experimentation is a great essentials in life, people! Anyways, I thought the yellow background was freaking cool and I am currently into the grain-y effects on photos. It gives that nostalgic feeling in photos that I just enjoy looking at. And I thought, why not make it present in my pictures as well?

All in all, I've been enjoying the top and the bottom together and separately because I truly believe that it is what love is made out off. Among other things that is.

I don't have a name for what this outfit is called and I know nothing of the theme that this outfit falls under. But what I do know is I felt good and happy in it. Plus, I bought the skirt on sale. What else could a girl wish for? Discounted skirt and humanity in life.

Last but not least, I'd like to thank a friend of mine, Yana, for the top. I've worn it to two weddings within two consecutive weekends. Man, I can't justify how much I love it.

 l8r,

Jaz.

Hobo? Hope So.

Skirts and I don't mix that well because I am not a really great person when I am with skirts. I can't jump, dance or sit well when I am in skirts. But when Hana Tajima released her collection of bottoms at Uniqlo, I can't help but feel like I need to have it. Skirts or not. I just need 'em. But it was so fucking expensive, I waited it out for 3 months.

Now, it is on sale for half of it's original price, what else would little old me do but grab it by.

Here is my take on skirts; they look lovely and they are a pain in the ass. I don't know how Scottish men does it in those kilt. All in all, I enjoyed wearing it and the airy feeling that I get every time wind passes me by makes wearing a skirt worthwhile. Despite having a few Marilyn Monroe moments. 

Lastly I realized that the combination of my denim jacket and my striped shirt made me look like a hobo. And like any other hobo, I look good.

scarf: cotton on | denim jacket: forever 21 | striped t-shirt: padini | skirt: uniqlo

| groovy socks: cotton on | shoes: converse

That's all for now folks, till next time.

l8r,

Jaz.

The Terror of Pants.

I have 24 pairs of pants. I only have one pair of legs.

Why the actual fuck would I need 24 of them? But I love them all the same.

l8r,

Jaz.

Film Stuff: Mr. Holmes

I don't know what is it with our society but often we perceive "getting old" as a taboo topic to address. Sure, getting old ain't pretty. Sure getting old reminds us of dying but then where else is our lives is going to go if not towards death? If you have another end result of life that equates to eternity, holla at me.

I think the film Mr. Holmes addresses this stigma quite well and very much endearing as well. Sherlock Holmes has always been known at his prime age. He is a genius, a sociopath, witty, awkward and all of the adjectives that we love to love in a character. But when you fast forward him to when he is 90++ years old, he is still all of that, but not the whole of all of that. 

It was painful for me to watch my beloved fictional figure to deteriorate with age.

What really killed me was when Mr. Holmes, one who has never been able to grasp the concept of loneliness, understood it when he is at the brink of his life. He had to accept the fact that his entire existence was quintessentially lonely.

The characters involved were not a lot, just 4 or 5 in total. And there were no explosions or car chases or gunshots. There was just a man at the edge of his life with nothing. Ian McKellen did well. I can't imagine anyone else better to play a retired Mr. Holmes.

All in all, that is the hard fact that we need to stop avoiding and just deal with. You never know if you are going to live to be a senile, fragile and a lonely hundred year old man.

Go and watch it if you ever have the time.

l8r,
Jaz.

Subdued Patterns are Heaven

I've been subconsciously collecting photos of patterns. 

I don't enjoy colors as much but patterns seem to make up for the lack of color. It gives a little umph to my outfit. The thing is, nobody is going to notice the subtle patterns that I've incorporated the outfit but the little details of patterns that I know that I had on my clothes that day made me happier every time I saw it being reflected on a mirror somewhere.

It's all about self-satisfaction.

Pick up a little bit of patterns here and there. Be a little happier.

l8r,

Jaz.

Of Vaginas, Clothes Stuff and Skateboard

This video from Refinery29 represents my belief. 
Not only that, it video-graphed my belief in the most beautiful form of flawed beauty which are vaginas, pretty clothes and skateboards.
I am a feminist and I am not one who throws around labels like an expired pizza. When I said that I am something, I take a really big pride in that. However, let me get the elephant out of the way here, I am not an irrational feminist where all I ever want to do is be better than men. Nope, I am a feminist because I want find the equilibrium between genders in peace. 
There are nothing that men can do that women can't and not a thing that women can do that men can't, other than the pregnancy stuff. But I have to say this, it is harder for women to break the conservative view of femininity than men with their masculinity. This is because men always have had a loud and clear booming voice in the society. Whereas women were reinforced since we were young that we are the secondary sex, that our voice is not as loud as the primary sex hence, can't be heard that well. We were trained to be timid and submissive. We don't have power over ourselves and that is terrifying.
Hence the video. Women can't do a lot of things such as speak their minds, stand over their partner, be independent, drive, have sexual desires, masturbate and skateboard. "Girls don't do that!" We were often told. But this video tells us otherwise. You can look as women-ly as you want and act as boyish as you want at the same time. 
Let's put genders aside shall we? Because there's no such thing as acting sissy like a girl or rough like a tomboy. There is only acting nice as a human being. Because that is all we are, aren't we? As long as we are nice to another human, who cares if you are a woman who enjoys masturbation and who cares if you're a guy who doesn't know how to change a flat tire. Not everybody can do what everybody else can do.
Be nice and respectful. And cool.
Plus, there's no such thing as "girls can't spread their legs wide while sitting." NOBODY should ever spread their legs while sitting. It is impolite and unappetizing. Nobody would wanna take a sip of soup while staring at your crotch. Trust, me it will never be a pretty sight for anybody.
l8r, Jaz.